Monday, February 20, 2012

Love Language

In the book by Dr. Gary Chapman called The 5 Love Languages he discusses the five ways people give and receive love.  The five are Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch.  I think my love language is quality time.  Being there does not have to be complicated.  It can just be being in the same room while reading or watching a program.  It can also mean accompanying me on a short trip to the store or to some place new.

In my last job, I found out very near the end of the hiring process that the position was going to be salary, not hourly.  When I hear salary, I understand it to be flexibility.  That is, when the work is done you can go on your way.  However, salary in the business world often time means putting in more than 40 hours a week just to show your devotion.  Personally, I think that is ridiculous.  So this last job was making more and more demands on my time.  It was recommended that I work in the evenings and Saturdays.  I had to go away a couple of times for training.  Though I appreciated the chance to see new places, the training was often not new and not impressive.  It took me away from home.  I like to be at home with my spouse as it is a way I express my love.  So this last job was not a fit with my love language.  It is my goal to find a position that pays full-time salary for part-time hours.  I really believe that is doable.  What I want really is flexibility and to be treated like the adult that I am.

I think I also express my love by acts of service.  I like to pitch in and do my part.  I like to have things arranged and completed so that no additional work is needed.

As far as receiving love, I think that quality time and acts of services are the ways I know someone cares for me.  It is really special when my wife puts something together in the crock pot for me to enjoy at dinner when she is away.

I also see myself giving and receiving love through the other love languages but I think I primarily give and receive love through quality time and acts of service.

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