My Testimony

The Lord was working in my life at a very young age.  I was born into a Christian family where the parents went to church regularly, lived out their faith, prayed before meals, and read their Bibles.  We went to a Bible church each Sunday, Sunday night, Wednesday night, and special occasions.  During summer we would go to Bible camps.  My parents were genuine Christians and I believe many in my extended family are followers of Jesus.   

Our pastors over the years would go through the Bible chapter by chapter, verse by verse or sometimes topically.  I remember being very young when it was emphasized in Sunday School that we needed to receive Jesus as our savior.   I attempted to do this several times.  Especially when feeling a conviction, worry or fear.  I would be in my room and pray or reach out to God in some small way.  It was also emphasized that we should know the exact date we were saved.  So I would right it on a calendar but then the fear would pass, the calendar would be misplaced and I would forget about it until the next time I was seized with fear.  My parents would sometimes be gone and I would lie awake on my bed hoping they hadn’t been raptured.  Being left alone was more of a fear than death.  As soon as they returned home and there was the sound of the garage door opening, I would be instantly asleep and in the morning I would have forgotten about the whole thing.  I should have shared with someone that I had prayed to receive Jesus but being quiet and reserved, I don’t think I ever did.  

Once during communion, I looked around and noticed how everyone was taking the occasion very seriously and I remember praying too and it felt like I had really communicated with God.  At Bible camp, I remember feeling under the conviction of the Holy Spirit and sensing the need to take my life before Him very seriously.  I attended church in my formative years without much fuss.  I sang along and participated in worship services.  

As I grew into my teens, the pastor at that time would have an alter call.  No one ever went forward.  I felt a strong pull to go forward but was confused because I had received Jesus and I thought I was saved.  I always felt bad that no one went forward.

When I was a junior in high school my dad got cancer and after a few months passed away.  He was the leader in our home and my mom missed him.  I believe he is in heaven because he was born again spiritually.  I tried to honor my dad and respect him but we never connected on a deeper level so when he died, life just sort of went on.  It didn’t help that I was an independent teen trying my best to play it cool.  Please do your best to take care of the temple God has given you.  Yes, being saved, you are on the way to heaven but your family needs you.

For most of my schooling and even beyond, I would avoid the crowds and pretty much seek to be on my own.  The world had its draw and I was confused many times as to what to do.  Should I do as many others did?  But what about that feeling that it wasn’t right?  So, my socializing was pretty much with Christian people as I felt more at home among them.  I went to our youth group and I would speak with my youth pastor on occasion.  I would attempt to read my Bible sometimes and pray but it felt forced at times.

I finished two years at junior college.  This was not the best time in my life.  I was not happy, did not feel like I had any direction, nor did I feel especially gifted in anything.  I went out west to continue a relationship with a girlfriend but that fizzled pretty quickly after getting there, which isn’t surprising considering how selfish I was.  Not much was happening spiritually and my soul had dried up.

At the time, I found a baptist church which I thought was dynamic.  It had a group of young adults my age.  Out of that group, I joined a home Bible study.  I respected the leader, and asked him about not feeling like I knew I was saved.  His advice to me was to go home and pray to receive Jesus again, which I did.  I opened the door to my heart and I was either saved then or I had recommitted my life to Jesus.  I read my Bible and prayed and it felt more genuine.  Some say that we should receive Jesus once and that is enough.  I receive Jesus as Lord & Savior any time I think about it.  I don’t think a prayer stating that you want to be saved and be in heaven is ever something to be ashamed of (that is just my opinion).

Church was always comfortable to me (except when I am under conviction).  We attended a lot of church in my formative years.  We would even go when on vacation or visiting my grandparents.  I remember during my young adult years, just after opening my heart again to the Lord, that I deliberately missed church one Sunday.  It made me feel disconnected and uncomfortable.  I always feel like church is the place to be on Sundays and if I can help it, I will be there.  

In this baptist church I was attending, the bulletin announced that there would be a baptism.  So one Sunday night, I was baptized.  This was when I was in my early 20’s.   I felt the pull to be baptized when in my younger years, but never liked being in front of people.  Plus, no one directly asked me, so it had never happened until then.  If you have a young person in your life that is showing some spiritual growth, you may want to invite them to consider baptism.  Also during this time I helped with the Billy Graham Crusade and then I went on a short mission trip to Japan and one summer I went to Lake Tahoe with Campus Crusade for Christ, then I finished my college degree.

After this, I stubbled about for many years trying to find something.  Being out in the world was never been easy for me.  I am not especially social, I avoid drinking, and I preferred to keep my own company.  After many starts and stops, I was in a job where I worked alone and I would listen to Christian radio.  I remember walking through the lab once and feeling like my life, as the owner, was over.  This was in my early 30’s.  I was seeking the Lord and wondering what else He had for me.

I met my wife at a singles Bible Study which I really enjoyed.  We sung praise songs, had a Bible teaching, prayed, and fellowshipped.  She came one night to give her testimony and I gave (a very poor) speech on evangelism.  I pursued her and we got married six months later.

At first we went to a church that had good teaching and music but was 45 minutes away.  So we went to a small baptist church nearby.  People kept leaving or dying and I felt like maybe I was suppose to do more.  So I was helping with AWANA, mowing the lawn, working the church checking account paying bills, and on the board.  I was burnt out and the church never turned around.  It would be my advice to limit your responsibilities to two or at max three things to avoid being overly involved.  Currently, I have one responsibility.  I teach children's Sunday School and that is about all I can handle right now.  After four plus years of spiritual suffocation, we happened to stop by a new church on a Wednesday night.  Everything I had been working toward was already here.  The pastor was at a Bible college level, live worship, and coffee fellowship.  Shortly after coming to this new church, I placed a prayer request in the prayer box asking that my shoulder would heal.  There was some discomfort as I had tumbled off my bike.  In three days or so, the pain was gone.  I thought that was a a confirmation that this was the right place.

My life verse is Romans 5:8 “But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”  I know God loves me.  He died for me.  My sin was what kept me separated from Him.  My only hope for heaven is in Gods Son Jesus Christ.  I love Jesus.  He is my shepherd, my Lord, and my Savior.

Any questions?

Can't you forgive?

Recently our pastor announced his retirement.  I had been anticipating that he would have several more years left to preach.  In fact, I thought he could even be around for another ten.  But after citing his lengthly health struggles and his extended families need for him to be close by, I can see why he felt he needed to step away.  

What I find sad is how many people and families have left our church over the years.  They left because supposedly someone said something or did something.  I never saw or heard these things directly, I only heard about them after the fact, indirectly.  Considering our pastors physical pain, it is not unlikely that he could have had some moments where he was under stress and things came out not as they should have.  So people use these incidences to leave.  Yet, I think that God and His Word are paramount.  I thought we all believed that.  Our pastor teaches at Bible college level.  Getting that level of teaching and preaching elsewhere in this area is not easy.

Personally, I would have liked to have see more people forgive and work through whatever issue they had.  I would have liked it if people would have put the incident behind them and stuck with it because the teaching of God's Word was done so well.  When someone left the church it was always about a person and not about a theological issue.  I could have understood people leaving because the pastor taught that Jesus was not deity or that the Trinity was bad doctrine.  It was never those things.  It was always so-and-so said this or did this.  I just wonder, why not forgive?  Where does forgiveness play in this?  Isn't the centrality of the Word and Christ make everything else secondary?

Have you ever left a church because you couldn't forgive someone?

Self-expression

The reason I am writing this blog is for self-expression.  It would be nice to come up with some intellectual product because of it but that is not the primary purpose here.  I want to write so that people know who I am.  In any possible future alliance or partnership, I don't want people to be surprised at who I am.  In fact, I want people to know who I am and see my experiences, thoughts, and quarks as assets that they want to bring into the organization.  

In this blog, I want to write out my values and beliefs so that I know what I believe.  Otherwise, as has happened all too often, I am asked a question or am caught in a situation where I don't know my take on a subject.  I want to know what I think and so I write so that I can better express myself.

Retirement

I don't want to retire.  I would rather work until my last day on something meaningful, something that matters to me.  If I am doing something I was created for, something I am passionate about, and something rewarding, why would I want to quit doing it to sit around in the Arizona desert?  Sure, I may put in fewer hours eventually.  I may take on a role as advisor but I don't want to ever be done with work.  Work is simply changing circumstances from what it is to something better.  I always want to be making a positive contribution.  I will save for retirement but that money should be a supplement not my sole source of income.  I believe that if all I can do is dream of retirement, and quitting my work, that there is something out of balance.  Maybe I am at the wrong company, or the wrong work, or I am not taking enough time off to relax, enjoy, and live in the midst of the journey.  Retirement is not something I want to think too much on.  I would rather put my creative energies and thoughts into finding work that I could love.

Good work

I don't think making money is enough.  There has to be a certain level of doing good to the work.  I would like to lift the community, soften humanities impact on the environment, and make people more financially sound.  I want to find good work, work that matters, so that I am applying my faith, and making a positive difference.

Is making money good enough for you or does your work need to being doing some good in the world?

Introvert challenges part 2

Change-I know that change is a part of life.  Change happens.  I, however, like routine and would prefer that things stay the same.  I like to improve but it had better be a real improvement for things to change.  I feel safe when I know what to expect and what I am doing.  So, routine can be good for me.  I don't always see how the change will make things better.  Since I go through life on my internal feelings, change makes me feel uneasy so I can be slow to come around.

Speech-There are people out there that have an abundance of words.  They are babbling brooks.  I am slow to speak and quick to hear.  When I speak, I want to be right in what I say and true to myself.  If I have not given any thought to an issue, I honestly don't know my opinion and may stumble over giving my take on it or I may state that I will have to get back to you later after I have given the matter some consideration.  I do attempt to share my heart and experiences when I can and I try to ask good questions so the talker can get out their words for the day.

Sensory-I can get overloaded with my senses.  I like green pastures and swaying trees because they are calming.  Seeing violent images is difficult on me.  I replay the images in my mind, I cringe, and I get tight in my stomach.  News stories or movies with human suffering and pain make me want to turn it off and run.  Even deer hunting can be a bit of a stretch for me.  I know meat comes from dead animals but I can't think on the subject for too long.  Keeping my sensory stimulation to a manageable level helps me.

Introvert challenges

Outgoing-The glad hander, the jokester, with an enormous smile is the one that everyone likes but is really hard to imitate as an introvert.  I am cautious with my friendships and prefer a view friendships but ones that are deeper and more meaningful.  I am not going to take unnecessary risks because I want to see how the results are going to benefit me.  I am constantly checking my inner self to make sure everything is okay.

Entertaining-I am a listener, an observer, and task-oriented.  I contemplate and monitor.  But what is valued today is the person on the stage who can make us laugh and cry.  The one who has the large party, an event that goes down in history.  I as an introvert will not stand in front of people and tell jokes and share wild stories.  I can't remember any jokes and I have no wild stories.  Being like this makes me come across as one with a serious air and that does not always win friends.

Energy-I gain energy by having down time, reading and putting my home in order.  Many people get their energy by lots of interaction, telling others what to do, and winning at all costs.  I have to pace myself and do things in a measured way or else I will run out of power for the day and end up discouraged and out of sorts.  I don't really want high energy anyway.  Getting my list checked off and everything set in its place is what drives me.

I feel very comfortable on my computer

I feel very comfortable on my computer.  I read blogs, news, and comments.  I Tweet thoughts, verses, and quotes.  I check my emails, financial data, and social media.  

If I were to have my way, I would do a lot of my living and working in front of my computer screen.  Not to hide out, but to be productive and connect.  I feel empowered and powerful as I type and click.

Do you find using your computer to be a very empowering experience?

I feel like an extrovert on the computer

As an introvert, I do not look to parties or social events for a good time.  A large number of people overwhelm me.  If I am forced to be with crowds, I will usually hang on the edge.  There is just so much to process.

However, I feel much more expressive and free when I am on my laptop at home.  In fact, I want to engage more with people on the computer than I want to in person.  It frustrates me when others that I respect, admire, and consider friends do not post an update at Facebook or reply to one of my emails.  I want to interact and share!  Those comments and emails are meaningful to me.

I find typing very easy and communicating through a computer very natural.  It is more controlled and I can review my words before I send them out.  I check for spelling errors and I read it out loud so that the right tone comes across.

Any introverts feel the same way?

Money

I like money.  I think it is a useful tool and a medium of exchange.  It represents value that I have been able to give someone and there is a certain amount of satisfaction that comes with that.  I like to put it aside in savings for a future need.  I like to cover all my expenses and have some left over.  I like to give it to worthwhile organizations that are doing good in the world.  I like to save money for retirement.  I like to see my accounts grow.

But I do not love money.  I will not sacrifice my integrity, health, or family for it.  I will not compromise to get it.  I will not value someone more because he has a lot of it nor will I undervalue someone who has less of it.  I will not consider myself better than others because I have more of it then they do or because I manage my money better.

What is your view of money?

Heaven is better than hell

In the Bible, we are given some idea as to what heaven is like.  God will wipe away every tear from peoples eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.  God Himself will be there and be their God.  He will be on His throne.  A pure river of water of life, clear as crystal, will proceed from it.  There is a tree of life and the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations.

We are also told some things about hell.  It will be a place of outer darkness.  There will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.  There is a lake of fire burning with brimstone and unbelievers will be thrown into it alive.  It is described as a place where the worm dies not, and the fire is not quenched.  God's wrath will be on souls for eternally.

From my little understanding, heaven seems much better than hell.  I want to be with God in heaven forever.  So I have given up my life, repented from sin, received Jesus as Lord and Savior, and now I seek to obey God, love Him, and love others.

Choose heaven.  It is better than hell.  Save yourself some pain.

What do you think about heaven and hell?

Light in summer

At this time of the year, it becomes light very early.  So for me, it is easy to get up early too.  I am just like a flower.  I open up and become active when the sun hits me.  This can cause a late night to become a painful morning.  So I need to go to bed early.  If it were totally up to me, I would go to bed shortly after 9 PM.  That is not always my choice however.  Not much is happening late in the evening anyway so I look forward to going to bed and having renewed energy in the morning.

Now, the opposite is also something to consider.  During winter, when getting up to total blackness, when it is cold throughout the house, it is not easy.  It takes some effort and determination and it is not easy especially as I get older.

Do you find it easier to get an early start when it is summer?

Where would I be a good fit?

Here are some questions I thought of when thinking about where I could be a good fit.

Where can I had value?  What organization needs someone with high integrity and can trust him to fulfill his obligations with little supervision?  Where can I go that would give me a task and leave me alone to do it?  What company needs their location to be ship-shape and set in order?  How can I match myself with a place that I can be proud of and where my title is not something to be ashamed of?  Where can I live out the calling within me?  Who needs good-judgement, character, and a willingness to get the job done?  Who has meaningful work, just enough intellectual stimulation, and interesting people?  What work can I do that is routine enough that surprises are kept to a minimal but also offers enough change to keep me engaged?  Who has leadership that I can respect, admire, and follow?  Where do they allow people to be human?  How can I find a place that has cool technology, a respect for the environment, and is financially sound?

Do you know of any place that would match my style?

How to fix a Windows computer

Someone asked me this week if I could fix a computer.  For some reason I knew that he was talking about a Windows based computer.  My response was that he should fix his computer by bringing it down to the electronic recycling center and go buy an Apple computer.  Spend a little more, get quality, and you don't have to worry about fixing something.  Look, I just can not get passionate about the normal PC.  It has never interested me to any great degree.  Apple products have always drawn me.  They are simple, elegant, and they last.  We all spend premium dollars.  I choose to spend a little extra in this area of my life because it interests me.  If I could have my way, I would buy every Apple product out there and when something new was released, I'd buy that too.  Now, it hasn't worked out that way but that is what I wish to do.  With Apple, there is always something going on.  They are buying up new companies or making product announcements.  Developers are coming up with interesting Apps or hardware add-ons.  My MacBook is a place where I keep my data, communicate with people, read, shop, and get entertained.  It is a wonderful thing to interact with and yes I have a heart and passion for it that doesn't seem to be going away.

Do you have a passion for all things Apple?

The giraffe and the refrigerator

Someone recently related an odd question that has come up in job interviews.  It went something like this.  If you needed to put a giraffe in a refrigerator, how would you do it?  The question is designed to reveal how you think.  Some people may say they would look for a very large refrigerator or that they would need to remove shelves in order to have enough space.  My answer is different.  I would say that the question is ridiculous and that no one in this country needs to put a giraffe into a refrigerator.  In fact, the idea repulses me.  We don't need to destroy or consume such a beautiful animal.  There are plenty of other food sources.  I do not have time for such irrelevant questions.

I hope the answer to my question tells you a little about myself.  I am logical, sensitive, and not very interested in theory's that have no benefit to reality.

Have you ever been asked an odd question in an interview?

Green Bay Botanical Gardens

This weekend, we went to the Green Bay Botanical Gardens.  It was the first time I have been there.  I was surprised at the level of enjoyment I received by going.  It was very hot, in the upper 80's and low 90's so we had the place to ourselves most of the time.  We wandered the trails, looked at the plants, tried to pronounce their names, took pictures, watched birds, admired the structures, went down to the water, commented, and expressed wishes.  It was a wonderful time as the cares of the week faded and we were able to go away refreshed and invigorated.  The cost was only $7 per person.  The staff was friendly and helpful.  If you have a botanical garden near you, I highly recommend visiting it at least once.  It may even be a good idea to visit once per year.

What have you visited recently that turned out better than you expected?

Land management philosophy part 3

Energy conservation.  Plants can be used to make a home more comfortable.  Planting evergreens on the north will cut the wind that comes down from Canada and cause your heater to turn on less frequent in winter.  Planting deciduous trees on the south will allow for shade in the summer and some needed sun in the winter.  I like thinking about these types of things.  It gives me a sense that I have control over my own life and that I can use nature for my benefit.

Native plants.  Whenever possible, I like to see native plants thriving in a landscape.  When I see an oak or a white pine spring up, I let it go and see how it does most of the time.  Knowing what is an invasive plant can be tricky.  I am learning what the non-desirable plants are and there are more than I would have assumed.  Getting those plants out is not as easy as it sounds.  Often times, it is more a matter of having less of them than fully eradicating them.  One word of caution.  Local nursery's will sell exotic plants so you can't rely on them to sell only native plants.  You have to know what you are buying going in.

Beauty.  Having an attractive landscape can be very satisfying.  I like it when there is variety, lots of color, and some order.  It brings a smile to my face and a joy to my heart.  This is something we can affect to some degree and it is a motivation to get out there and try.

Land management philosophy part 2

Allow for wildlife habitat.  I enjoy watching wildlife.  Squirrels, deer, chipmunks, birds of every color, and butterflies.  They are all interesting and I like to see them flourishing in my back yard.  They need a few things from us in order to live nearby.  Water, food, and shelter.  When those things are available on our properties, wildlife can live out their lives in full view and we can enjoy and take pleasure from their antics.

Decrease dangers.  It is important that the property that is managed is as free of dangers as possible.  That means removing or destroying things that can cause harm.  Poison Ivy, wasps, and low hanging branches.  Dumping out stagnate pools of water is a good idea so that insects can not breed.  Making walk-ways and the ground in general as level as possible.

Privacy.  One reason I am a home owner is for the sake of privacy.  I like to be alone and keep my own counsel.  It is not that I dislike people, it is that I like to have down time to read and go about the business of life without eyes on me.  Adding trees and bushes strategically can help with keeping your home a place of refuge.  Having a nice row of evergreens on the property line is one way to add a natural fence to your yard and it benefits everyone.

Land management philosophy part 1

My land management philosophy has many components.  Over the next few days, I will list them and add a few thoughts.

Make it more useful for humans.  I believe the land should be people friendly.  There should be trails and walkways that are flat and free of debris.  People should be able to move about conveniently and safely.  Wildlife viewing should be easy to do.  Other outdoor activities should be readily accessible.

Increase the property value.  As the land is managed for humans and investments and improvements are made, the property value should rise.  This is good for the owners in the long run and it is good for those who use the property in the present.  At some point, the property will change hands.  The next owners should be happy and feel that they received value in their purchase.

Keep it green and natural.  I am one to believe that trees, bushes, flowers, and grasses should take a prominent part in any landscape.  We are too quick today to cut everything and urbanize.  I find that stifling and dehumanizing.  I would rather gently work with the land to keep it green and growing.  Study's have shown how stress is lowered by having tall trees on a property.

My calling

My calling is to increase natural and wild areas while at the same time decreasing decaying urban areas.  I want to beautify the outdoors and lessen the impact of humans on the environment.

Cities have never been my thing.  I have visited some large cities but have not stayed for long.  The northeast part of our country has never been a draw to me because of the density of the populations centers.  I have never visited New York city or Washington D.C. and places like Philadelphia and Detroit leave me appalled.  I am sure that if I went there, I could find something interesting but on the whole they don't embody what I believe success to be.

Keeping things green has been a long term interest of mine.  Not too far from the house I grew up in was a small woods.  It wasn't our property but being close I felt an ownership to it.  While a child I would walk through there and explore.  I would fashion boats and float them down the creek in spring.  We made trails through the woods and biked it.  Later on, my dad and I would go there to cut down dead elm trees and haul them home to burn in our stove to heat the house.  As an adult it was distressing to see houses built on the edge, and then actually in, the woods.  Being able to freely roam through that natural area by just anyone was gone.

When I see people who are careless with the outdoors, it boils my blood.  I can't understand when people throw their cigarette butt to the ground or throw their trash out their window as they drive by.  Is it so difficult to bring garbage to where it can be buried forever out of sight?  Do people not understand that most things are not biodegradable?  I like things green, natural and serene.  This is what I will fight for.

My ideal job would be where I am actually taking a swipe at the big city.  I would love to tare down old, useless buildings and then bring in dirt, trees, and shrubs and make a green space for people to view and enjoy.  I think it would actually raise the quality of life, lower stress and crime, and increase property values.

How can you lessen your impact on the environment?

My agenda

This past week I was listening to a podcast from Eventual Millionaire.  The host, Jaime Tardy, was interviewing a man who said something that has stuck in my mind.  This millionaire said that he got up at 5 AM and worked on his own agenda until 9 AM.  He would write, spend time with his family, and exercise for the first four hours of his day.  Not until after nine o'clock did he get to his email.  His reason for that was that answering his email was reactive and giving in to other peoples agenda.  He wanted to give his first and best hours to his own agenda.

I wonder how many times I have yielded to other peoples agenda just because I thought I had to or because I assumed my agenda was not very important or because I felt pressure to do so.  I remember working in an office and basically having other peoples agenda my first activity.  I would get into the office on time and prepared but I would go to email first thing.  The office was quiet so I would not want to be talking on the phone as others would hear me.  I read and answered emails because it was simply and easy and it gave me the idea that I was working.

Today I am working on my own.  I am working to get my own priorities done early and my check list complete before I respond to other people's needs and requests.  It is not easy.  Email has trained us to view and reply to it first thing because it is immediate and we want to have some activity to show that we are working.  Yet it is not always productive.  Giving ourselves enough preparation time in the morning will make our day more fulfilling and more productive in the long run.

How do you keep to your own agenda?

Lessons from "Facing the Giants"

This week I watched the film "Facing the Giants" and had the following take-aways.

Self-limiting beliefs.  One of the football players did the "death crawl" during practice only this time he was blind folded.  He coach urged him forward, to do his best, while the other players looked on in amazement.  The player assumed he really pushed himself and had made it to the fifty yard line.  However when the blinders were removed he had done all one-hundred yards and made it to the end zone.  I wonder what self-limiting beliefs keep me from doing twice what I would expect.

Praise Him in the good times and in the bad times.  The featured couple in the film resolved to give God the glory whether they were going to lose, not have a baby, or win and have a family.  I resolve to glorify God whether He chooses to crush me or whether He chooses to bless me.

Do your best.  The coach told his players that their responsibility was to do their best in every area of life and leave the results to God.  Respect authority, study hard, and play hard.  God can take our meager efforts and make them major wins.

Overcome your fear.  God says in His Word to not fear 365 times.  I think there is a message there.  We are not to fear man but God alone.  God has our back.  He know our needs.  We can face the giants in our lives and expect God to get us through the encounter.

What lessons from "Facing the Giants" would you like to share?