Saturday, January 28, 2012

Why I left so soon

Some people may want to know why I left my last place of employment so soon.  Five months was not very long and it may seem like I did not give it enough time.  Several things in the company and several things missing in the company caused my quick departure.  The place I transferred to did not have a trainer, the manager was not on site (he was some place around Chicago), and there was no training manual.  In fact, they wanted me to write my own training manual.  I am not making this up!  I didn't know what I was doing but I was suppose to use One Note (something I had never used before) to write step by step instructions on how to do my job.  Yes, that is crazy and a major gap that I eventually realized I could not over come.  What also drove me over the edge with the training documentation that was being created was that I had entered quite a few detailed instructions only to find them missing after someone evidently deleted them.  I never could find the instructions again, and they were helpful steps, and no one confessed or explained why they were taken out of One Note.  In fact, that was close to the last straw.  I mentioned that there was no dedicated trainer.  In past jobs, there were several people who trained and brought on board newbies where days would be set aside to go over systems, responsibilities, and expectations.  In this place, I was working with a couple of people, one man and one woman, who had my same position.  Often times they wanted to help, were very patient, and explained things to me.  I was very grateful to them while I was there.  However, they would at times work from home so they were unavailable.  I already posted how I am a visual learner.  Without a document to read and follow nor a fellow representative to watch and mimic, I was sunk.  I am not a person who can magically find answers on his own.  It doesn't work that way for me.  The manager being offsite I think also was a problem.  He and I never connected.  I respected and admired him but somehow we just never shared the  same wavelength.  Being that we were so opposite, I never felt he brought me into his confidence and I never felt like I could risk being completely truthful with him.  He also wanted to be somewhat controlling of people and that will never sit well with me.  Another oddity about this place, was that we would go on trips to other offices with the objective of training but it ended up being much less than what it could have been.  I remember one trip where I was underwhelmed with my co-workers and what training we got would be ground we had already covered.  Another trip I took was a disaster where we were suppose to be in training during the day but requests for quoting and ordering work continued to flow in and we were expected to do it.  Then, after all day in the office, the manager would have the bright idea to go out for dinner and drinks.  I didn't want to spend another three or four hours with people that I had just spent all day with.  I wanted to be alone to relax and unwind.  These people couldn't get enough of the happy life and would stay up past midnight at the bar.  Swearing, laughing, and drunk, we all had to take the bus back to the hotel together.  I felt for the driver who had to hear all that but I also thought that the company was put in a bad light.  Being on the road in a hotel room, I would not sleep well and I was fretting about my job.  I hoped it would come together but it just never did.  There were too many missing pieces.  Another big reason for my departure was that this place had its own language.  There were so many acronyms and code words to remember it became jumbled in my head.  Learning this new language never happened quickly enough and would often lead to embarrassment if I stumbled over my words.

I miss the paycheck, my iPhone, and the free coffee.  I also miss work, quite frankly.  I like to get things accomplished.  I like having a place to go each day.  I like getting paid and saving money.  I am not doing those things now and I would like to add those things back to my life soon.  But I don't miss the stress, the uncertainty, the weird lingo, and having to be available deep into the evening.  I will state without hesitation that I am glad I left.  Yes, it could have ended better and more cleanly.  However, I will not stay in a place so void of any peace, clarity, and direction.

I am looking for a good fit in a job.  A place that matches my values and goals.  When I find that place, I will be able to wash this bitter experience from my mouth.

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